17-year-old refuses to attend “family vacations” anymore after years of being dragged to his grandparents home for his stepsiblings to visit them, his parents tell him to get over it: “The resentment is unfair”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 24, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Having divorced parents is never easy for the child. Growing up without a whole family, seeing your mother and father together and raising you, and seeing your parents with someone else is heartbreaking. It can destroy your relationship with one of them if they end up with someone you hate. If you have to deal with a mean stepmother, a nasty stepfather, or the jealous type then it could make your life a living nightmare. Not only are your notions of love destroyed from the dismantling of your parent's relationship, but you have to live with these strangers, people you don't even like. It could be possible that your stepmother or father even has other children, which only makes matters far worse. What if your stepsibling is mean to you, or is simply not there for you? To make matters worse than they already are is to grow up with stepsiblings you don't even like. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a 17-year-old guy whose mother remarried. His stepfather has children already, and a few times a week they drive to see the stepfather's parents so that his children can bond with their grandparents. But this ends up hurting the protagonist, and he feels like the black sheep in the family. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my parents I'm allowed to resent the times they dragged me to another state to do nothing so my stepsiblings could see their family?

    УМА
    via Stephen Leonardi from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    When I (17f) was 5 my mom married my stepdad. My stepdad's first wife did a few years before that and my stepsiblings 8, 10 and 11 back when my mom and stepdad got married. For the first year they'd go to their maternal grandparents two or three times a year for a week and longer in the summer.
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 03
    But then after the first year my stepdad didn't want them to go alone so my parents made the decision that we'd take a road trip and stay for as long as my stepsiblings were visiting with their family. They'd stay with their grandparents whenever they visited but saw a bunch of family.
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 04
    My mom, stepdad and I would stay in these really cheap tiny places and we did nothing. Except my stepdad who'd go to someplace with Wifi and work from his laptop. But that was it. The few times we'd see my stepsiblings while we were there it was obvious they were being spoiled. The thing that bothers
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 05
    me the most now that I'm older is that we didn't see them much. And they didn't stay in the same place as us so all it did was rub it in that they had this family who loved them and spoiled them and they got to have so much fun and I was bored out of my mind and left waiting to drive back with them.
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 06
    I did get jealous. It wasn't so bad at first. I'd be a little jealous when they left and came back with stuff or when they got all these extra birthday and Christmas gifts but it wasn't all that extreme. But I got really resentful after a few years places and of staying in doing nothing for weeks at a time while my stepsiblings had a blast.
    via u/LollyFlie

  • Did you ever feel like the black sheep in your family? As if your whole family is on one plane, one dynamic, and you can't seem to understand them? Like they always get along, and you're just in the corner alone wondering why you're even there. It's not an easy place to be, but there are people who will understand you. 

  • 07
    My stepdad asked a few times if I could be included in places they'd visit and my stepsiblings grandparents always said no. My stepdad didn't even ask privately. I'd hear him ask and hear the no. So it sucked even more and I was embarrassed and hurt for a while.
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 08
    Then it got more awkward when my stepdad would join for a BBQ or lunch at the steps grandparents house. We'd all go and my stepdad's relationship with his first wife's family was weird and those people couldn't have been more obvious that they didn't want us there. I was left watching kids play together
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10484605184
    via vichie81 from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    while I was ignored except for my mom and stepdad. My mom made excuses about why we did it and she'd tell me it wouldn't last forever. When I got older I pushed back on the weeks of my life spent like that while my stepsiblings got to have fun. My mom claimed the reverse was true but she could never say when.
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 11
    I had no extended family. My dad bailed the second he found out mom was pregnant with me and his family didn't want to get to know me either. We weren't wealthy so I didn't do summer camps or extra curricular's. Maybe we could've afforded it if we weren't spending money on places to stay when my stepsiblings went to their family.
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10484605952
    via Tim Gouw from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    I'd hoped the end would come when my stepsiblings move out but the year after the youngest one left we still followed them out. This is only the second year we haven't done it. But my parents talk like they want to do it again and the other day when they were talking about it I blew up and said I won't go with them
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 14
    again. We argued and they told me the resentment was unfair and I needed to let it go. That I don't have a good reason to resent them. I told them I'm allowed to resent them after they dragged me to another state in **** where I got to do nothing for weeks at a time. I told them they had no idea what that's like for a
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 15
    kid to go where they're not wanted and sit doing nothing while all the other kids get to have fun. My parents told me we do things for family sometimes. I said that was bulls AITA?
    via u/LollyFlie
  • 16
    Traditional Ad7109 And your mom was onboard with this?
    via u/Traditional Ad7109
  • 17
    jess1804 Why exactly couldn't you and your mother stay behind? Why exactly couldn't you guys do things again? You were cooped up doing nothing of course you resent them.
    via u/jess1804
  • 18
    SafeWord9999 If the whole family does things for family 'sometimes' ask when it's your turn for ANYONE to do something for you. I mean you've been 'giving' to everyone else for TWELVE YEARS, surely it's time for everyone to give you a chance to have
    via u/SafeWord9999
  • 19
    something nice where the whole family drops everything for you.
    via u/SafeWord9999
  • 20
    blablablablaparrot At 17 you have more power than you think. Do not argue, just be clear that you aren't going. And don't let their manipulations, gaslighting and guilt trips affect you.
    via u/blablablablaparrot
  • 21
    Tell them you will stay behind where you are comfortable as you have no interest is going anywhere near your stepfather's ice cold parents. Tell them that they really don't want your resentment towards them to multiply now that you have stated your boundaries. No discussion.
    via u/blablablablaparrot
  • 22
    NTA- learning to establish boundaries starts now.
    via u/blablablablaparrot
  • 23
    Medical_Onion_3500 I don't understand why if your mother wasn't included either, why she would go and you two wouldn't just stay home? This sounds very stupid and like no one actually thought about it beforehand.
    via u/Medical_Onion_3500

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